Abundance mindset vs. Scarcity mindset

In today’s day and age, being gripped by depression and anxiety is a somewhat normal thing. Society seems to be built on what is called a “scarcity mentality.”

This is the idea that in any way, your life is lacking. Why do you think the advertising and marketing companies thrive? Why there is always a newer, better, more improved product coming out? We have literally been raised to believe that our life is missing something: “I need this.” “I need that.” Companies can get you to buy virtually anything, because you think you need it; because you think your life is lacking without it.

The scarcity mentality is constantly reinforced and carries over into all aspects of our lives. Suddenly, everything is about YOU and what you are MISSING. There’s this notion that if someone else has something, that there’s nothing left for you. Your best friend gets engaged. It turns into, “when am I gonna find a good guy???” Your brother buys a brand new car. You say, “Am I ever gonna have enough money to get a car like that?”

I’m here to break the news to you… even though it may be hard to swallow….

THERE. IS. ENOUGH. SUCCESS. TO. GO. AROUND.

Success is INFINITE! Meaning, there is plenty of it for everyone! SOMEONE ELSE’S SUCCESS IS NO WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM, TAKES AWAY FROM YOUR SUCCESS/FUTURE SUCCESS.

If this is true, then why do we become so envious of others’ success? It’s because we are living in a scarcity mindset.

Don’t worry, this is a natural way of thinking. But it can be reversed. But first, you have to realize that you are in complete control of your perception of things around you. I’m not saying you are in complete control of your emotions, because we all know that isn’t true. But, you can drastically change the way you react to things, and the way view the world around you- it all begins in your mind.

This is where, viola, I present to you… the abundance mindset. It just sounds better, right?

When you cultivate an abundance mindset, the way you see things begins to take a turn for the better. So, what does an abundance mindset look like?

Failure and the way you view failure, changes. Failure is no longer the end of the world. It is an opportunity to learn and grow. You realize that failures are a necessary part of your path to success. EVERYONE fails. But you know you have to pick yourself back up, and ask yourself “What can I learn from this?” “What can I do better next time?”

Gratitude pours out into your daily life. Instead of focusing on things you’re lacking, you take the time to be grateful for everything you do have. Everyday you make a list of things you’re grateful for– your friends, family, food in your fridge, a roof over your head, hot water, a running car. This list goes on and on of things that can be taken for granted every single day.

The negative, “scarcity” energy is cut out. Stay away from people who are always complaining, who never have anything positive to say. Cut out advertising, commercials, gimmicks, ways of companies trying to convince you you’re missing something. Do this by watching less TV. Read more books. Geek out on personal development writings and blogs. Realize that you can create your own environment of abundance; it’s your choice.

Others’ success = happiness, not resentment. You realize that everyone is on their own path, has their own purpose, and has their own timeline. Your purpose and timeline can be very different from someone else’s. It does NOT mean that they are successful, and you are not. You do not have to be fearful or jealous of your peers or competitors. You CAN be genuinely happy from them, and learn from them.

The focus turns to all the endless possibilities. We all know that things can change in the blink of an eye. Your world can be turned upside down at any minute. But, change is not the end of the world! What can sometimes be seen as a step back can be seen to others as a new beginning. Life is literally limitless and once you realize that, it’s life changing.

 

I hope this finds you and really speaks to you. And you decide for yourself you want to make a change. We are all capable. ❤

 

That Thing You’ve Always Wanted To Do.

If you’re reading this, it’s for one of two reasons. #1: you’re my friend, you enjoy my writing, and you care what I have to say. Or #2: you’re intrigued by the title.

We all have that “thing.” That thing we’ve always wanted to do. It could be one thing, it could be a few things. It could be something small and minimal, or something on a much bigger scale.

Move to Europe.

Organize your house.

Learn to play guitar.

Start doing yoga.

Go back to school.

Try Crossfit.

Volunteer.

Whatever it may be, chances are you’ve been pushing it off, for whatever reason, for far too long. There always seems to be something standing in the way…

When I have more money…

When I have more time…

When I’m in better shape…

When I retire…

SOMEDAY seems to be the magic word. SOMEDAY you will have the time, money, and freedom to do all the things you’ve been wanting to do. SOMEDAY you’re going to wake up and everything you’ve ever wanted is just going to magically fall into your lap. SOMEDAY things will be exactly how you pictured them to be. But you know what? SOMEDAY is the single most dangerous word in our vocabulary. SOMEDAY creates this illusion that you don’t have control over your future. In order to take control of this quest for SOMEDAY, you need to get rid of the word altogether. The life you want SOMEDAY, begins TODAY.

At this moment, you are the youngest you will ever be. You will NEVER get this moment back. While you have control over a lot of things in life, there are an infinite amount of things you don’t have control over. You could get hit by a bus tomorrow. You could find out you have cancer. Your house could burn down and you could lose everything. You, and everyone else on this planet, are going to die someday. And you’re sitting there planning for some mystical “someday”, that’s not even really guaranteed???

If I’m scaring you, it’s working. Yes, we need some sort of day-to-day responsibility. I’m not saying spend every dollar you make each day, just in case you’re going to die tomorrow. But what I’m saying is you need a kick in the ass to take action about your life, TODAY.

What you need to do first, is make a list. Make a list of some things you plan to do, someday.

Then, make a list of things you do every day.

Compare the lists.

Chances are, not many things you are doing every day are helping you get where you want to be, someday.

Things need to change. If you truly want to be who you say you want to be, changes need to happen, today. Make something you today bring you a step closer to where you want to be someday.

What you need to do next, is start small. In every aspect of your life, you need to stop putting things off.

Stop hitting the snooze button.

Don’t ever leave dishes in the sink. Eat, then clean.

Make your bed in the morning **my mom will laugh at this- if you’re like me, just sleep on top of the covers!!! 😉

Change the toilet paper roll.

It sounds silly, but procrastination can peak its sneaky little head through in almost anything in your day-to-day life. Stop that shit!

DO. IT. NOW! ❤

 

Life lessons that Crossfit has taught me

As anyone reading this probably already knows, but I’ve been drinking the Crossfit koolaid pretty heavy. As a coach and an athlete for the last almost 4 years, CF has changed my life in ways I’ll be stuck with forever. I can’t say enough good things about what it’s done for me, mentally and physically. Here’s why. 🙂

1. Support system is everything

What keeps most of us coming back to Crossfit, is the community. There’s nothing like the bond that you build with people at your gym. Whether it’s before work, during a lunch break, or after work, that hour at the gym you get with your buddies is most likely the highlight of your day. We get to let off some steam, chat it up, laugh, get some competition going, and do some fitness. There’s a sacred sort of bond formed between all the athletes doing a workout together. In the middle of it, when your heart rate is jacked, your lungs are burning and you feel like you can’t keep going, it’s all of your buddies around you that motivate you to keep going. To pick up the bar. To not stop. Everyone’s rooting for eachother to keep going, there’s nothing like it!

2. There will always be an excuse

There will always, always, always, be a reason why you can’t. I’m tired- I have homework to do- My favorite show is on tonight- I have such a long day today- My head hurts.

The list can go on and on. Same goes for performance during a Crossfit workout: My legs are sore- My nose is running- I didn’t sleep much last night- I didn’t get a big enough breakfast.

The point is, to hell with the excuses. You either show up and do the work, to the best of your ability…or you don’t. It’s pretty simple. There doesn’t need to be an excuse for everything. The people who excel in the Crossfit world (and in life) are those who realize that excuses mean absolutely nothing and will get you nowhere, fast.

3. Success isn’t linear

There seems to be this misconception that success is a linear process- that someone keeps excelling over and over again until they reach their definition of “success.” This couldn’t be farther from the truth. The road to success is always UNDER CONSTRUCTION- it’s bumpy, frustrating, exhausting, and paved with failures.

It’s how you deal with the obstacles that hit you on your road to success that will determine when/if you get there! CF couldn’t be more of a testament to this. Even the top athletes’s lives have not been lacking of setbacks, obstacles, failures, injuries. Struggles are inevitable. Bad things will happen to you. Sometimes you’ll find a skill or task that seems so daunting, it’s almost impossible. Sometimes life and emotions will get in the way. And that’s OKAY. It’s part of the process. It’s part of the magic. It’s part of your path to success.

4. Ego won’t get you far

Ego… it is the NUMBER ONE reason why Crossfit gets a bad reputation in the fitness community. Crossfit, when prescribed correctly, is an amazing tool to create functional fitness accessible to everyone. And yes, I mean everyone. It is scalable and modifiable. When it is modified correctly based on the person, ALL levels should get the same stimulus from any given workout. Loads and volumes are chosen based on the person, so ALL can get the same intensity from the workout.

The problem arises when people don’t scale correctly. Everyone wants to do the workout Rx (as prescribed), even if they may not be ready to do so. This is how people either 1. get hurt or 2. are not progressing in the way that they should be. While the ultimate goal for most people is to be able to do workouts as prescribed, they often forget how important all the stuff in between is. Learning new skills, doing them the right way, becoming efficient at them, being able to do them under fatigue- these are things for the Crossfitter to be worried about… not doing the workout as prescribed.

If you want to be a successful Crossfitter, your ego needs to be left at the door when you walk into the gym. If you come in eager to learn, to listen to the coaches, to do things correctly, to scale appropriately… that’s when the magic happens. That’s when you begin to grow as an athlete, and as a person. In life, you will get so much farther if you can admit when you don’t know something and are OK with asking for help. Ego is really the biggest enemy here. As Albert Einstein said, “More the knowledge, lesser the ego. Lesser the knowledge, more the ego.”

 

5. Stay in your lane

Going right along with the ego- another big issue in Crossfit gyms is people becoming obsessive with comparison. People get too worried about what others are doing and how they’re performing. To feel better about themselves, they need to beat this person. It’s just more of feeding the ego. Instead, athletes should be focused on themselves, and their weaknesses. Instead of worrying about who to beat, what can they do everyday to get ahead of the pack? What skill needs some extra attention? How can they move faster in a certain kind of workout? These are questions to be asking, not “Oh, well what did he get?”

In every day life, your own path is the only one that needs to be focused on. Everyone’s is different, and everyone’s timing is different. Be so honed in on what’s going on in your life that you don’t even have time to worry about another’s. Be so busy working on your own grass that you haven’t even noticed if theirs is greener.

 

6. What’s going on in between your ears is most important

Positive self-talk. Inner coaching. Mental toughness. These are CRUCIAL, day in and day out, in a Crossfit athlete’s life. There are so many things that can go wrong in a workout. How you overcome, adapt, keep moving, and keep talking to yourself, are key to getting through it. Getting mad at yourself for having to drop the bar, getting visibly upset or frustrating for breaking your jump ropes, or silently cursing and freaking out in your brain when you miss a weight, are all ways that a workout can go downhill for you.

Learning how to control your thoughts- changing them from negative to positive, can be a game changer. If you can learn to talk to yourself in a positive manner, you will adapt and overcome almost anything that happens to you. Keep in mind, this doesn’t happen overnight. It can take years to develop a mentality that will give you the edge over other athletes, and other people.

7. There is no substitute for hard work

Basically, you get what you give. If you half-ass anything, it will show. If you’ve been neglecting a skill all year, it will show. If you choose to skip things you suck at, it will eventually show.

Nothing in this world beats hard work, consistency, patience. They are necessary for a successful Crossfit career and for a fulfilling life. If you’re going to do something, whether it be for work, your family, your athletic career- why not do it fully? Why not seek to be the best you can possibly be? Why not take all the steps necessary to ensure success?

There’s never a quick fix, a magic pill, a #1 program that will get you all the results you’re looking for. How you’re going to achieve it (whatever it is), is solely up to you. If you want to work hard, that’s your choice. If you don’t want to work hard, that’s your choice as well.

Intention, Implementation, Effort: Holding Yourself Accountable.

Before I begin, I just wanna say, I truly believe that most people want the best for themselves. Most of us have some sort of plan or idea of building a successful life, whatever that entails for each of us specifically.  We want to do well in all aspects of life… our career, the gym, our love lives, etc. But, the same time, lots of people are OK with just coasting by and doing the bare minimum. My writing today is for both of these kinds of people.

You might be saying to yourself, “I’m not one of those people.” And you could be right. You say things, you set goals, you talk about plans. But unfortunately, what we plan for does not always happen. What we say does not always mean what we do. We sometimes fall short, and we don’t always follow up.

To find and keep success in life, you need to be able to hold yourself accountable. Basically, you need to be able to call yourself on your own shit. This is way easier said, than done. Most people are completely and utterly incapable of admitting they’re wrong, admitting they’re not doing enough, or admitting they’re just straight up lazy.

Being accountable is literally as simple as this: say what you’re going to do, and then do it.

Keep in mind, I said simple, not easy. 

You should be holding yourself to the highest standard of all.

You should realize that a long-term change or goal requires small, meticulous details that are required every day!!!

Successful people, in my eyes, are those that choose excellence, work hard, and pay attention to detail, in every aspect of life. They want to excel in all areas, not just one. They don’t take the easy way out. They do the work when it needs to be done, they don’t make excuses, and they call themselves on their own shit.

At the end of the day, you are accountable for your own success. You are in control of your actions and decisions, therefore you need to be responsible for them.

First, you need to be clear with yourself of your intentions. Your intentions for yourself should be reasonable, but high! Do you want that promotion at your job? Do you want to buy a house by the end of the year? Do you want to lose 20 pounds?

Then, how are you going to implement it?

At your job, are you going to keep learning new skills? Continue your education? Make your intentions known to your superiors?

For your upcoming home ownership, how much money are you going to save? Are you going to come up with a budget? How are you going to strengthen your credit score? Do you have ideas of areas you would like to live in?

To lose weight, do you have a deadline? Are you going to do weekly weigh-ins? Measurements? Food logs? Workout plans?

Now comes the hardest part, effort. Effort, is in fact, a choice. You make a decision every work day, every meal, every workout, every dollar spent, if you’re working towards that goal, or taking a step back from it. And realizing that can be very difficult.

It’s hard to take a step back and realize how many conscious decisions we make. There are a ton of things in life we cannot control, but it’s in fact quite scary to fully realize how much we do have control over. It’s all about taking ownership of your choices and their  consequences.

Your alarm goes off, and you hit that snooze button twice, rush to get out of bed, get stuck in five extra minutes of traffic, and end up being fifteen minutes late to work. When the alarm went off, you had two choices: get out of bed, or hit the snooze. You consciously chose to hit the snooze. But of course, if this is the situation, most would blame it on the traffic. Right?

Every time you buy something you don’t need, you are making a conscious choice to do so. Dinners out with friends and family, unnecessary snacks at the grocery store, another pair of sweatpants or a sweatshirt… every time you purchase something outside of your intended budget, you are taking money away from what you really need it for. Point blank period.

If there is food in front of you, good or bad, you make a decision whether to put it in your mouth or not. Every bite (or no bite) is either getting you closer to your weight loss goals, or farther away. The choice is YOURS. If you take that bite of cake, you’re basically saying to yourself, “This temporary satisfaction is more important than my long-term goals.”

Just let all that sink in for a sec.

I don’t try to be a hard-ass, I just want everyone reading this to realize how truly simple it is. It’s so easy to put the blame on others. It’s really hard to come to terms with the fact that the only person responsible, is yourself.

That’s what accountability is. And this is where your effort matters.

Once you make your intentions clear, and execute a plan, it needs to be followed through. This is the part where you actually do what you say you’re going to do. This is where it comes down to the daily, small changes in your habits.

I’ll just go ahead and keep using the examples I’ve been using: a job promotion, home ownership, and weight loss.

At work, know that you are going to have to bring a positive attitude. Every day. Get there early. Stay late. Willingly look for more responsibilities. Ask for what you want. Every day do something that makes you stand out from the rest of the pack.

When it comes to your money, stick to your budget, don’t stray far off from it. Notice things you use are unnecessary , that can be reused or recycled, or that you can temporarily do without. Limit expenses like heat, electric, cell use… anything that can reduce the size of your bills.

To shed those extra pounds, get help from a professional, that you can check in with pretty often. Track your calories and macros. Don’t skip a workout. Don’t have unnecessary snack foods and treats around. Stick to the plan. Opt for the stairs and stay active as much as you can.

Get the jist here? Every thing I just listed, for each situation, are things that need to be done daily. That’s the key. Small changes, every day, over time, leading to huge results. That’s how we get what we want out of life. This can be applied to any situation.

Intention, Implementation, Effort. YOU GOT THIS!

 

 

 

 

5 lessons that traveling has taught me

Although my experiences with travel have only just begun, I feel like I have learned so much more about myself than most others ever get to. I love looking back on my pictures and posts from when I was abroad, and reminiscing on my thoughts and feelings during those moments. Everything I’ve come across, every person I’ve met, every place I’ve been has held meaning to me and has helped me grow and improve as a human.

We all know that a fancy college education does not give you street smart. We all know that life’s ups and downs are the true teachers. But something about being alone, in a foreign country, with lots of time to think and reflect, has etched some ideas in my mind that will always be a part of me.

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Experiences are worth much, much more than material things.

We live in a world surrounded by fancy, shiny things.  We feel the need to always keep up with the latest fashion trends, latest technology, etc. But for me, rather than material items, I’ve always felt that my money should be spent otherwise- mainly for trips and traveling. I’ve never been much of a materialistic person, so this concept is probably harder to grasp for some people. I’m also young, and didn’t grow up with a super rich family that spoiled the crap out of me.

When I traveled to Southeast Asia this past summer, I took nothing but a 50L backpack with me. (Speaking of material things- I splurged big $$ on the backpack, lol!).. I was so excited to get it in the mail, and then I was astounded as to the little amount of clothes I could fit in it. Even rolled up all perfectly and stuffed in there, there was no way I could fit all my nice, name brand workout clothes in there. I literally had to pick a week’s worth of workout clothes and a week’s worth of tank tops and shorts, some socks, sandals, bathroom stuff, and that’s it!

After about a few weeks of wearing the same clothes, doing laundry every week, and switching up the shirt and shorts combo the best I could, I realized that nobody around me cared what I was wearing. I didn’t even care what I was wearing. I was meeting so many people, doing so many fun things (and also sweating my f*cking ass off every second of everyday- my clothes were almost always dirty instantly). I became aware that those material things meant nothing there. I was literally the happiest I’ve ever been with nothing on me except a backpack full of my belongings. When you realize something like that, your priorities begin to change.

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Appreciation is everything.

Appreciation is a tricky little thing. Even if you consider yourself an appreciative and grateful person, you almost always don’t appreciate a moment until it’s gone. There’s still times when I can remember something from my travels so vividly and I almost start to cry, because I wish I could go back to that very moment so I could appreciate it just a little bit more. You have to sit back and revel at every sunset, every insane view, every piece of scenery that looks like nothing like you’ve ever seen before.

I’m also extremely appreciative of the very opportunities I have to travel. I live in a country that allows me to freely travel, my family and my friends are incredibly supportive, I’m financially stable enough to travel, and I can take off of work to travel. I feel very blessed because of this.

When traveling to certain areas, you also become very appreciative of the comforts of your own life. After spending so much time in Asia, I will never take toilet paper, a working toilet, and our plumbing system for granted again. Over there, you can’t just drink water out of the tap. Every time you drink water, you have to buy a bottle. It’s little things like this that we often take for granted. Don’t.

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You’re never ready.

Was I ready to book a one way ticket to Thailand? Hell no. I was so scared. I had mixed feelings about traveling alone but I didn’t want to wait around for anyone else or wait until I felt “ready.” Because I knew that would be never. This far in my life, it’s the best decision I ever made.

Most people spend their lives pushing things off until they’re “ready.” Well let me be the one to break it you, you’re never going to be ready. For anything in life that you want to do… for every reason you want to do it, there will be five reasons not to. There will always be people in your ear telling you you’re crazy, you’re wrong, or you need to wait.

The timing is almost never perfect. But if you get in the cycle of thinking you want to do something then backing out, you’ll stay stuck in the cycle forever. You have to be proactive about your own life. Forgetting the naysayers, being brave, growing some balls, going out on a limb… the time to do it is now. Because in reality, life is short. You can’t spend it waiting.

 

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You are never really alone.

Anyone who knows me, knows that my biggest fear before my big trip was that I wasn’t going to make any friends. All my friends laughed at me when I would say this, and now looking back on it, I laugh at it too. During my travels I have met so many wonderful people, from all over the world,  it’s mind-boggling. Some will be friends for life, some just acquaintances. If you guys are reading this- thank you for the memories, I love you!!!

I never, ever felt lonely. Even when I was alone. Sometimes it was super nice to be alone, unwind, and reflect. But my point really is, you are never alone. There is so much out there. So many people feeling just like you are, waiting to find you. The universe always puts you on the path to meet those who are meant to be in your life.

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Everything changes, always.

Speaking of making friends… so every time I would meet some amazing people while traveling, I would get super sad when my time with them was over. When I was off to the next location, I had to say bye, and start all over again… it sucked! But then I would arrive in a new place and meet a whole new batch of awesome people. I had been so scared of that change, of starting over again, but I had learned to adapt to it and overcome it.

This is so, so important in all aspects of traveling. Situations can become less than ideal. Shit can go wrong. The idea you had pictured in your head may be way off. But over time you can teach yourself how to deal with these types of things.

The sooner you can come to terms with this change, the better. People change, circumstances change, things change. If you can learn to let go of things you can’t control, roll with the punches, and stop trying to control the behavior of others… the sooner you can live a more carefree, happy and fulfilled life.