Yes… you read that correctly. That’s the title of this post. I don’t mean to be harsh, I just mean to be honest.
We go through our lives, through good times and bad, through obstacles and less-than-ideal situations. When you reflect on past situations, how do you feel about how you handled them? Did you do the right thing? Did you behave like a coward? Did you take the easy way out? Did you learn from the situation?
There are so many ways we can ALL become better humans. That’s always the goal, right? It’s hard as hell to identify shortcomings in your mental toughness, but they are ultimately keeping us from who we want to be. I’ve come up with just a few ways you can try to make yourself tougher mentally.
Take responsibility for your actions.
Don’t be that person who always blames others. Admit when you’re wrong. Admit when you’ve f*cked up. Then immediately proceeding, work to fix it. How can you act differently next time this situation shows up?
Can you imagine what this world would be like if people took responsibility for things they said and did? There’s so much more respect given to someone who admits their faults and their mistakes, rather than blaming it on someone else, or better yet, reverting their mistakes onto you. We all know how this feels when someone does this to you. We teach our kids that being responsible is such an important quality to have, but we never teach them the importance of taking ownership of their own behavior. How are you supposed to learn from your mistakes if you can’t even admit them???
Show your gratitude.
This is a big one. As human beings, we crave appreciation and attention. All of us, in different ways. Some love to be showered in gifts, some need hugs, some just want a thank you every once in awhile. It’s so important to express your thanks and gratitude to those that love you, support you, and help you. Every single person on this planet needs help from someone around them, and that’s a f*cking fact. You cannot get by in this world all by your lonesome. Whether it’s monetary help, a ride to the airport, a bed to sleep in, career advice, buying a coffee, or borrowing clothes– the people closest to us help us because they care. They’re usually not looking for something in return. But nobody enjoys feeling underappreciated. Whenever you can, remind those around you how much you care, and how much you appreciate them. It’s not a hard thing to do, we’re just lazy. We think that these people are always going to be there at our disposal. Don’t be that person. Take care of those that take care of you.
Do what you say you’re going to do.
We all know that person. That person who’s a flake, who says they’re going to show up and never does. The person who says to count them in but in the back of your mind you know it’s not happening. I really don’t understand this. Besides the fact that it’s rude and disrespectful to tell someone else you’re going to do something and then not do it–but for your own personal sake. How can you set any goals for yourself, when you can’t even be held accountable? These are the people who say, “oh yeah, I’ll start my diet next week.” Fast forward a month and it still hasn’t happened. Fast forward a year and it still hasn’t happened. What kind of life is that?? This, in my opinion, is the weakest kind of person. If this is you, do yourself a favor, and call yourself on your own shit. If you say you’re going to do something, DO IT… it’s pretty simple.
Stop prioritizing the instant reward.
This is a good chunk of the population. As a human, it takes a looooong time and a lot of mistakes to train yourself to think about the outcome and the long run, rather than the moment right in front of you. This can manifest itself in many ways–forgetting about your goals when you cave and eat 3 donuts at work. Hitting the snooze button and missing your workout because when your alarm goes off, it’s cold outside and your bed feels so warm. Giving into your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend because it feels good for that night, then regretting it the next morning. Why? Why? WHYYYY? Because we are weak. That instant reward feels better to us then the long-term satisfaction and happiness. It seems silly when you lay it out that way- BECAUSE IT IS! You know these things are no-good for you. But you do them anyway. Next time, take a second, STOP, think about your long-term goals. Is what you’re about to do, really, truly worth it?? Is it helping you as a person? It takes a long time to discipline yourself to do this, but it becomes easier and easier every time.
Handle the truth.
We’ve all heard the saying, “the truth is gonna set you free, but first it’s gonna piss you off.” (from a movie but can’t remember which one)… but it’s so true. Most don’t deal well with the truth, because often it’s not something you want to hear. But, 9 times out of 10, a big ol’ slice of humble pie will do you well. Even if it sounds like someone’s trying to hurt you when they’re telling you the truth, they’re really just looking out for you. The truth can hurt you, and then proceed to help you. It will make you realize things that you couldn’t admit to yourself. The best kind of person around you is someone who will call you on your shit, and tell you the truth. Handle it. Use it. And move on from it. Then you can be free 🙂
STOP F*CKING COMPLAINING.
Complaining truly has no purpose in this world, and I don’t have much to say about it. I’m gonna break this down in the most simple way I can… because it really, truly is this simple. If you’re complaining about something you can change, THEN CHANGE IT. If you’re complaining about something you have no control over, THEN GET OVER IT. IT’S ONE OF THE TWO.
Stop avoiding the uncomfortable.
Sounds cliche, but get comfortable with the uncomfortable. It is the ONLY way to grow, mentally and physically. If you stay with what’s comfortable, with what you know, you will be stagnant your entire life. Put yourself out there. Risk rejection. Try new things. Embrace uncertainty. Stand up for yourself. Challenge yourself. Push through the pain. Don’t give up just because it’s hard. Your true potential lies outside of your comfort zone.
Don’t ever quit.
ON ANYTHING. Push through, pursue that shit relentlessly, and keep fighting, always. It doesn’t matter if you win or lose, but it does matter if you quit. People will always remember a quitter. You can rest, but don’t ever quit.