Before I get started- side note- I had left this tab open on the computer and my dad happened to see it this morning I guess. He went in and made that last blog post and posted it to my Facebook. I was super confused when I was getting Facebook notifications! I asked him, “Dad, did you post this?” and he said “Oh yeah that was me.” He definitely doesn’t know how a blog works, but I thought it was so cute and funny, I’m gonna keep it up there. 🙂
So today’s topic, something super familiar to me, something I deal with a lot. I’d love to explain my view on what being a “positive” person actually means; how it doesn’t look like what you’d typically think it looks like. In no way, shape, or form, do I have all the answers.. I just have a different sort of viewpoint on this topic than most, and I love to give people reading a different way of thinking about things.
You will never hear me tell someone “Don’t sweat the small stuff.”
It’s a pretty common thing to say to someone: “Don’t let it bother you.” “Don’t worry about it.” But, you will never hear me say it. Because honestly, it’s bogus.
A lot of people use this when they’re trying to change their behavior. They say, “I’m not going to let the little things bother me anymore” or “I’m going to have a more positive attitude.” We can read a million inspirational quotes that can truly make us feel like we want to be a better, more positive person. It’s easy to say you want to change your life and your mindset. But, as always, to take action, is really f*cking hard. And I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say, “Not letting the little things bother you” is almost impossible.
Being a positive person doesn’t mean being happy 100% of the time and never letting a thing get you down. It means not letting negative things and energy get the best of you. In the face of bad situations, hiccups, issues, mess-ups, and negativity, a strong, positive person chooses to rise above.
The key to this, I believe, is not “dwelling” for too long on something.
When I’m at work and someone is being an asshole at my table, yes I may roll my eyes as I walk away from the table. I might go in the back and bitch about it to a coworker. But, my life has changed since I decided to not let it ruin the rest of my night, or even the rest of time waiting on that table.
I still got annoyed, I still complained, but I moved on, relatively quickly. A few hours later or the next day it became a distant memory.
But, for about 10-15 minutes, I did let this guy at my table and his attitude with me occupy my mind. You may still consider my actions as “sweating” something small, or you may not.
I also believe it’s particularly difficult to not “sweat” small things when it comes to something you’re extremely passionate about.
When I’m in the gym, and my performance isn’t where I want it to be, I get upset. I’ve cried and throw temper tantrums (mini ones… unnecessary, I know). I work so hard and put so many hours into my training, it’s hard not to let it effect me mentally.
There can be so many different factors to deter performance for me on any given day: sleep, eating, hormonal changes, legit muscle fatigue, personal stuff. I know now that sometimes it’s out of my control, and most of the time as long as I know I put 100% effort in, that’s all I can ask of myself that day.
But, sometimes I get pretty upset. You know what though! I always, always bounce back. Give me 10 or 15 minutes and I’m laughing, smiling, joking again and moving onto the next part of my day. And, the whole experience has made me stronger.
Like I said, the key is to not dwell on the small stuff. When you love something, when it’s basically your life, your career, something you put your heart in, you are going to sweat even the smallest things. In reality, they’re all small things that combine together to make the big picture, which is your life. We are human. We are emotional beings. Some of us are such passionate people that we let that energy shine through in everything that we do. But you have to learn to let the small things go, or you will never get far.
I’m not here to tell you to always be smiling or to always be happy. I’m here to be honest with you.
Take a deep breath. Close your eyes. Give yourself a time-out. Envision the bigger picture. Bring back that big smile. And let that shit go!
“If it’s not going to matter in 5 years time, don’t spend more than 5 minutes on it.”